10
things guys wish women knew about men. Seat back and relax while you enjoy reading this fascinating piece. I'm certain this may help your marriage if understood.
1. Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.
Husbands
need to know that their wives respect them both privately and publicly.
Men thrive when they know that their wives trust them, admire them and
believe in them. Shaunti Feldhahn’s research indicated that men would
rather sense the loss of loving feelings from their wives than to be
disrespected by them.
2. A man’s anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his wife.
When
a husband becomes angry with his wife, he may not come out and say,
“You’re disrespecting me!” But, there is a good likelihood that he is
feeling stung by something his wife has done which he considers
disrespectful and humiliating.
3. Men are insecure.
Men
are afraid that they aren’t cutting it in life – not just at work, but
at home, in their role as a husband. They may never vocalize this, but
inwardly, they are secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Affirmation. To
men, affirmation from their wives is everything! If they don’t receive
this affirmation from their wives, they’ll seek it elsewhere. When they
receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives (not flattery,
by the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of
their lives.
4. Men feel the burden of being the provider for their family.
Intellectually,
it doesn’t matter how much or little a man makes, or whether or not his
wife makes more or less money in her career. Men simply bear the
emotional burden of providing for their family. It’s not a burden
they’ve chosen to bear. Men are simply wired with this burden. As such,
it is never far from their minds and can result in the feeling of being
trapped. While wives cannot release their husbands from this burden,
they can relieve it through a healthy dose of appreciation,
encouragement and support.
5. Men want more sex.
Everyone’s
natural response to this is probably, “Duh!” But, that response is
probably for the wrong reason. We primarily assume that men want more
sex with their wives due to their physical wiring (their “needs”). But,
surprisingly, Shaunti Feldhahn’s research showed that the reason men
want more sex is because of their strong need to be desired by their
wives. Men simply need to be wanted. Regular, fulfilling sex is critical
to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired.
6. Sex means more than sex.
When
men feel their wives desire them sexually, it has a profound effect on
the rest of their lives. It gives them an increasing sense of confidence
and well-being that carries over into every other area of his life. The
flipside of this coin also carries a profoundly negative affect. When a
husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is
rejecting him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting his life as a
husband, provider and man. This is why making sex a priority in
marriage is so incredibly important!
7. Men struggle with visual temptation.
This
means the vast majority of men respond to visual images when it comes
to women. And, this doesn’t just mean the guys with wandering eyes. Even
the most godly husband cannot avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a
way that draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a glance, these
visual images are stored away in the male brain as a sort of “visual
rolodex”; that will reappear without any warning. Men can choose whether
to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but they can’t
control when these images appear.
8. Men enjoy romance, but doubt their skills to be romantic.
True,
many men appear to be unromantic clods, but it doesn’t mean that they
want to be that way! Men want to be romantic, but they just doubt their
ability to pull it off. They are plagued by internal hesitations,
perceiving the risk of humiliation and failure as too high. Wives can do
a great deal to increase their husbands’ confidence in their romantic
skills through encouragement and redefining what romance looks like. For
example, a wife may balk when her husband asks her to go along to the
hardware store, but it’s likely that he’s asking because he sees it as a
time they can get away as a couple and hang out together. What’s not
romantic about that?
9. Men care about their wife’s appearance.
This
isn’t saying that all men want their wives to look like the latest
supermodel. What men really want is to know that their wives are making
an effort to take care of themselves (and not letting themselves go)
because it matters to them (the husbands!). Husbands appreciate the
efforts their wives make to maintain their attractiveness.
10. Men want their wives to know how much they love them.
This
was the number one response of men. Men aren’t confident in their
ability to express this, but they love their wives dearly. Men want to
show how much they love their wives and long for them to understand this
fact.
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